April 2008
12 posts
A New Page!
The new page is getting close to being ready. Only a few hurdles with the interface and general layout remain. Check it out if you want a preview of the new design. TheJaouen.com Update: The new page is ready to rock! Go on over to TheJaouen.com. jaouen.tumblr.com will no longer recieve updates.
A New Domain
If you know me, then you know that I (like Stephen Colbert) like one thing more than anything else in the world, me. I don’t like being overshadowed by anything. Having to type Jaouen.tumblr.com instead of just Jaouen.com has infuriated me from the beginning of this blog. It makes it sound like tumblr is the subject of the blog, instead of that handsome devil, Jaouen. In an attempt to rectify...
What’s Holmes Holmsen’ for? - My Own Polygamist...
I read in the news the other day that a polygamist sect of fundamentalist Mormons was raided in western Texas and over 400 children were removed. These children were being brainwashed into believing their only goal in life was to have ten wives (male) or start having the first of 25 babies at age 12 (female). My first thought was, “Wait, you can do this?” Then after I became a “recovered”...
A Million Diamonds
Riding the lift into the blue sky basin Sunday, a million points of light glittered from the untouched powder below. As a parting gift, we were given two unforgettable days of powder to share with our friends. We made the best of our time with the snow. Not only over this last weekend at Vail, but in all of our days with the mountain. As the sun slowly sets on another season, we remember the...
An Outlet For My Anger!
Reports put the failure rate of the XBox 360 at 33%. I thought I was immune. I thought, “Failure, no, never going to happen here. My Xbox is a rock, a pillar of strength on a stormy sea of suck.” It would seem that I was mistaken. My poor overworked 360 has told me, “No more”. It may be that I played the crappy game Army of Two on it. It may have just decided that...
A Lean, Mean, Anti-Danny Machine
There are few things more entertaining than watching a buddy get lit up with paintballs. It seems that I am not the only person who thinks so. The guys at EMT have constructed the first consumer grade, remotely operated, paintball turret. From what I can tell, the turret requires the user to aim the gun from a remote position, via cameras. This is a cool concept, but it can be done better. ...
A Trip to the Masters
After a one year hiatus, the Orage Master’s anti-competition is back. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Masters, it is a day long, team based, jam style, jib competition. All of the major ski manufacturers send 4 of their best to Whistler for the day long event. This isn’t just another competition though. Jam style means that the competitors get a certain amount of time in which...
Sun, Snow, and Dynamite!
As many of you know, this weekend marks a bittersweet day for skiers and boarders, closing day at Vail. At 4 o’clock on Sunday, at the top of lift 4, there is a party known as 4 at 4. 4 at 4 is a unique kind of party involving booze, snowballs and hundreds of riders. It is an amazing sight, and enormous mass of drunk people throwing snowballs at one another, all on the very top of a...
A Snow Dream
Those of us who have a passion for skiing know the dream. Crisp morning air freezes your nostrils as you stare down line of perfect pillows covering a field of boulders with untracked powder. Conflict rages in your mind as you consider claiming your line through this pristine field, knowing that you will be diminishing its beauty while claiming your glory. The anticipation builds in your body...
A Good Social Commentary
Our friend Airek Publius has started a blog that I can get behind. Every revolutionary knows that you must first capture the minds of the people and Airek Publius is doing just that. His debut article, Why Bother Importing Your Buzz, is a literary masterpiece, inspiring the hearts and minds of all Americans to support the United States alcohol industry. Unlike other pro-alcohol articles that...
March 2008
15 posts
Fricken Mind Control!
The guys over at Emotiv Systems have made a giant step toward a brave new neurally controlled world. Not only is this thing stylish enough for even the most formal occasions, it can read your mind too! One major hurdle remains for the Emotiv team. There are unconfirmed reports that the device cannot comprehend the infinitely complex mingling of inane babble and twisted logic present in the...
Sanity
A couple dumb Americans have files suit (in the US courts) against the makers of the Large Hadron Collider, stating that it is a doomsday device that should not be used. They are calling for a review of the safety of using the machine. Interestingly enough, the very people who are smart enough to assess whether the machine is safe, are the very people who designed and built it in the first place....
Mazda RX-8 Sports Car →
I really need a new Mazda so that I can be as cool as Greg. Plus, look at the thing, its a chick magnet. Its like fishing with dynamite!
A New Radiolab Podcast →
I am jonesing for a new radiolab podcast. If you haven’t heard it, radiolab is a radio show that explores different scientific subjects every episode. Subjects range from zoos, to sound, to the very nature of existence. If you haven’t heard it, check it out. It may be just what you need to drown out the incessant nagging of your significant other (Ben, Brandon, you know what...
It Works!
We now have functioning comments. Feel free to post a comment or two, talk shit about Greg, whatever.
An Army of Bats!
Sensors for bat-inspired spy plane under development I need an army of these things to keep an eye on all of the shady people around, like Ben.
A Working Comment Field
In an attempt to allow shit talking on this blog, I am adding a comment function. Currently it isnt working for some reason. Until I can get it fixed, here is a comment from Greg about the 5000 dollar escort.“Think about it… ugly girl in HS gets no attention. she probably doesnt go to college. im guessing shes from NJ, but hard to say. she wants some quick $ so gets involved in...
A 5000 Dollar "Escort"
I am not sure what an Escort does, but my guess is that it’s someone that takes you around town and shows you all of the sites. Hmm, it doesn’t seem like there would be many repeat customers. According to Eliot Spitzer, these are all the rage in New York and DC. Update: Smoking gun has pictures.
PlayStation 3 →
This is the only thing giving Risk a leg up on me. When I get one, Kegan will leave Brandon for me. I don’t even care about the games; I just want the ladies it will bring me! Now, if I could just convince Brandon and Jeny to port their “Home Movies” to BluRay.
Bipartisanship... I'll hug your elephant if you'll... →
This sums up so many of my feelings, it had to be the first addition to the site. Such a good bumper sticker, even Rachel would like it.
February 2008
1 post
